Some tips for surviving at World War III

 

 

As you know, my dear readers, there’s little time left to World War III. Yesterday I did a lot of research. And as smart, wise and emotionally dog, in here I saw fit to give some tips about the WW3. You ask why? Of course, to save you! Already, if the dogs had not been on this planet, the people wouldn’t have taken even one step!

Anyway, I have to be calm for the sake of Earth!

First of all, Switzerland will be neutral zone again; so going to Switzerland could be a solution before the war. If you couldn’t go and stayed in the middle of war, here is to do list.

Never and never join an alliance which Germany and Turkey are in together. History shows that the result of these two countries’s alliance always defeated. If you are in the military of a country of this alliance, you can change your side, no problem. I don’t think anyone would blame you because of that.

To use Made in China antiaircraft can be dangerous, there is possibility that it explodes in the air without reaching the target. If possible, choose not to use.

If you’re fighting against Japanese, you need to calm down more than usual. Because, you can shoot accidentally someone who wants to make peace. As we know well from Japanese Animes, Japanese are the people who are yelling at the most emotional moments, even in their internal feuds. Be careful, don’t kill that Japanese who may be next hero that will build world peace.

Remember Call of Duty game during the war, and you give priority to use the weapons that you used in the game. When you see many things that you learned from the game, you can be surprised.

Forget Lao Tzu’s words about the philosophical war art. Today, they are not useful. There are more new techniques in today’s. For example, I talk about a technique accepted by the war historians no longer. It’s called “Obi-Wan kick ass technique.” Each of us, we remember final battle scene among Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker at the third episode. How Obi-Wan had won round? By taking high himself! Obi-Wan had warned to Anakin at the last second even with these words:
“It’s over Anakin, I have the high ground!”

This is the proof that you will win if you are high during the combat. If you’re in a flat land, you dig the pit quickly and throw the enemy into it. In any case you find a way to stay high!

Don’t worry about the religions. If you notice that you will be caught by bigot Muslims, immediately you find a circumciser. If you were caught by bigot Christians, then you can say “I was born as Muslim, but I have changed religion, I am Christian now, plus I can help your church with my money”. So, forget the religious rules, the important thing is to survive! Already you think God wants this; if you don’t live, the number of God’s followers will be reduced, and it doesn’t suit his book.

In today, wars are not limited with the fronts anymore. There are also some things you can do from the battlefront when you don’t fight.

As you know, the war makes the rich more richer and makes the poor more poorer. But my friend, you’re not rich! That’s why you battle chest to chest at front! But there are some formulas make you rich on a small scale. For example, you fought all day, in the evening with at least 20 people in the military barrack, of course you can not easily sleep. Evaluate this time! You will immediately go on the internet. You can broadcast the emotional and sorrow videos that you shot within today with combining a song such as “imagine” over YouTube. Video title might be “Brother! This is not your fault; this is not my fault” for example. When the video gets rating record, you can be YouTube rich; of course if you were not dead still during the war.

On the other hand, you can open a signature campaign “the war must end” on change.org. In this way, you can show how sensitive you are, and you might be a hero among the girls.

-Is there any tips for me, WD?
-Oh, here you’re. These all are also valid for you Migo, but you don’t worry yet.
-Why? If there will be war…
-Slow Migo, slow. First of all, if the war breaks out, there are some rules. First of all, active human soldiers fight, after them the retired soldiers will be called, after them the extraterrestrials will be called to the war.
-If I get that call, WD?
-Don’t worry, I am with you Migo, even at the war. Do you think I will leave you alone into the human wars! Kidding me! Already we know that my war videos would be more popular than yours!