Top breaking news of Star Wars Galaxy Express

I am sure there are many Star Wars fans, who ask themselves “is there any press or newspaper in Star Wars Galaxy?” If there is, why did not we see any Jedi who reads newspaper around until today?(We do not count the picture of Ewan McGregor while he reads newspaper on his motorcycle in movie set) I wonder, the freedom of the press in galaxy was locked by the Dark Force in dark side? After a long research, WD and I discovered that there is a press in the Star Wars Galaxy (of course with the contributions of being from outer space:); but it is underground, and the name of the newspaper is “Star Wars Galaxy Express”. Who wouldn’t want to learn hidden truths about Star Wars Galaxy! We’ve selected-compiled the important news about important events have been publishing in this newspaper of galaxy during decades, for you; and here we are. Even if you are away from a galaxy far, far away, within minutes you will learn some hidden true news about Star Wars galaxy. 😉

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With the order of Emperor Palpatine, the empire committee approved 1 billion empire credits for the Force Wall to be built between Senate District and The Restricted Area

At first time, Palpatine had spoken in a pre-election speech about the Force Wall a year ago:
“When Restricted Area sends its people, they’re not sending best, they’re sending people that have lots of problems… They’re beggars and criminals, and bringing crime.” ; “…nobody builds Force Wall better than me, also nobody should not forget, my interests are the interests of the republic,” and “Make Galaxy Great Again!” …Palpatine’s racist approach leads to criticism, on the other side the separatists…

details of news in page 5…

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Was 11/19 (BBY) Jedi Purge an inside job? Uncovering the Hidden Truths of 11/19 attacks

Did all the attacks become in real like what was shown to us on the screen? How accurate is to put almost all the crime on Anakin? Is there any Jedi who we think still innocent, but who has loyalty to Darth Sidious and has made a power-mingling with him? One of the Stormtrooper who joint to attacks with “Order 66”, said to our microphone: “I have indeed suspecions about some of us, they behaved like Jedi, even if they worn our armor.” Was it possible the great temple of Jedi collopse in a few seconds? The engineer who built Jedi Temple, spoke after the events of 11/19 and he said “I designed the Five Towers of the Jedi Temple durable against the 1000 dark force to hit it. I am not able to understand how it could be detroyed in 5 minutes!” Here some answers…

details of news in page 2…

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The reactions are growing against Obi-Wan Kenobi’s recent tweet that stirred up the social media

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After this tweet of Obi-Wan, especially some feminist organizations of Galaxy gave the great reactions. Obi-Wan, after the tweet, while avoiding explaining, especially he avoided to reply the question of “the person you mentioned, was Rey?” He left the question as unanswered. The activist organization that was established immediately after this tweet in today and called themselves “Jedi is Genderless”, announced that they will go out to the streets tomorrow to support the feminists also that they will bury the lightsabers under the ground for action. Obi-Wan Kenobi has not broken his silence yet…

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The shock of tax penalty to Qui-Gon Jinn!

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After it turned out that Qui-Gon Jinn was the biggest bettor in Podrace, it was understood that his illegal earnings were invested by an off-shore account at Nar Shaddaa and he did not pay taxes. It is not yet known what the Jedi Order will do in this matter. There is a news that they are looking for a new method to reach Qui-Gon Jinn, which integrates with the force…

details of news in page 4…

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Galactic Force-Bond Agency, GFBA, has declared that their all sub-frequency datas opened to investigation.

The GFBA, which the livings have doubts about its functions for a long time, is on the agenda of the Republic senate. The claims based on message of Kit Fisto who had tried to disclose before he died, but he unfortunatelly was killed before then. Kit Fisto had sent message to the senate just before he died, and had written following these:

“I do not believe that GFBA protects only the Jedi’s communication network, on the contrary, I think they have great control over the private life of the livings in the whole galaxy, not just on the Jedi. I have some evidences about how GFBA has turned into “Big Brother”, and I will make them open.”

The senate, which had the opportunity to free time lately, announced that they would pursue these claims and formed a unit called “GFBA Files”. It was learnt that the leader of team that conducts the research would be Gume Saam…

details of news in page 3…

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Kylo Ren announced to press: ‘We are on to kill him’

He is mentioning about Yoda…

Yoda, who was attempted to be killed several times so far, also in once went forever sleep with his own will, is dead or alive? This question has been on the agenda for about 35 years. According to the latest information, Yoda appears to be hologramically on the screen in this time. In the face of recent claims about Yoda, Kylo Ren said:
“That green little thing is mentally deranged. I will destroy the whole Light side. Nothing will stand in my way. I will finish everything in the galaxy!”

Kylo Ren, who invited Yoda to the duel in anywhere both in the hologram or live in the galaxy, claimed that the days of his experiences about anger control problem are now behind and that he is no longer an adolescent.

Also Kylo Ren has said that he received many scholarship because of his family and that Ataru was a child’s play for him, he continued as follows:

“Yoda, you are dead! You will regret very much when I capture you! I hate you, hate you, hate you!!!…”

…14 reporters of this news, our friends, were murdered by Kylo Ren, and their equipment was crushed. For that reason, you will not find more detailed information about the news inside pages of our newspaper.

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The cause of addiction to Force, has been discovered, and it is not what you think

For parents, a special research file…

Why the Force is bringing too much addiction: due to magnificant effect of lightsaber or wanting to be Jedi or Sith Lord? The ones who used Force even at once, cannot give up; is it because of making show to opposite sex? Why don’t Force Addiction Treatment Centers work good? Midichlorians have a hand into this? No, none of them! The real reason of the Force addiction is inside of this research…

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WD and I will review all the issues of the Star Wars Galaxy Express over the next few months and we will again compile a news report. We are sure that more new details and news will emerge.

 

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10 thoughts on “Top breaking news of Star Wars Galaxy Express

  1. This is brilliant, my friend 🙂 Nice work. And all so true. Order 66 WAS an inside job. And Palpatine basically did give a ‘make the galaxy great again’ speech.
    On a serious point, George Lucas did write the prequel trilogy to be an analogy of what was going on in America with the military-industrial complex, false-flag wars and corruption.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you my earthling friend, I am very glad that you’ve liked.:) Your contribution is meaningful! Also, you are definitely right about “George Lucas did write the prequel trilogy to be an analogy of what was going on in America with the military-industrial complex, false-flag wars and corruption.” We have seen the traces of this, while Anakin said “If you are not with me, then you are my enemy,” to Obi-Wan, or while The Trade Federation referring to East India Company, or Padme’s words on senate “this is how liberty dies with thunderous applause.” It is a genius work of Lucas to refer these messages to historical references in sub-texts from the heart of popular culture. After Disney, these do not exist anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

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