The planet of the things

Zunen 1

The planet Zunen was a middle class planet and a place where about one and a half million Zunenians lived in. I say it was, because it’s been a long time since my visit, and I don’t know what the situation of it according to the earth time right now. I had first met with the name of the Zunen planet in the Humok library. This planet, which has a rich source of mineral fluids, made its living by exporting it to other planets in its galaxy. Of course the rules of the Galactic Council are not allowed me to explain the coordinates of the planet in here. But it’s okay to say that Zunen is not in the same galaxy with the planet Earth.

According to what I’ve read about Zunen at the Humok library, perhaps the happiest living things in that galaxy lived in Zunen. Besides the task Galactic Council gave me, after reading these, I knew that I had to visit them. Because there is a serious chaos in the whole universe, and visiting such planets always raises hope.

I remember the day I arrived the planet like it happened yesterday. There’s only one country on the planet. When I came to the capital of the country, or maybe more accurate to say capital of the planet, I forgot my hard trip in the last three months. After three months, I was very impatient with the happiness of stepping on the ground for the first time. When the Zunenian who I’ll stay at his house as a guest took me to his house, I saw that the roads were like the flower garden. In fact, there were only two kind of flowers in Zunen; but it’s fine, the presence of those flowers everywhere was giving a distinct joy. Despite this interior refreshing image, Zunenian who would be my temporary host was quite quiet. I had begun to think that my presence might cause him stress in the coming days, and I decided to start a conversation to lighten the environment and I said:
– What I’ve read and heard about Zunen was right. It is a fact that these beautiful flowers, especially after my long journey, cheered me up and put me in a higher mood.

My host pulled over his car to the side of the road and then turned to me:
-Flowers are just flowers, the journey is also only journey, mood is … hmm, I don’t know what the mood is. Anyway, while you’re here, you should not to use adjectives. If you make your sentences in this way, it would be thing.

What was the mean of “it would be thing“? Then, as if this conversation was very normal, he started his vehicle and continued without waiting for me to respond. We were quiet until we got home. There was a daily newspaper in the vehicle and I’ve read it in those quiet moments. The following headline had been written in the newspaper front page:

“The statement about the economy is thing, relieved the markets!”
In these thing days, when our economy’s thing situation has reached the level of things, at the economic thing’s meeting, spokesman of the economy ministry said, “In order to do a thing, the next thing we will do is to keep them under the thing way”.

It was like a cipher headline. What was meant to be “the economy is thing“? The following explanation had been added under the news: “In the all merchandises exporting, we’ve lead of things on the level of things. The thing what caused of this result will contribute to our thing economy.”

I didn’t know what I needed to understand from this news. I was very confused. I’ve folded the paper and put it back. Our quiet journey continued. My host too should have been so much uncomfortable with the silence along the way, that as soon as we entered the house he turned to the kitchen and called me with a smile:

– Zunen’s foods are also thing. This planet is where Korazl is always thing cooked. If I don’t make Korazl to you, it means that I’m not a thing Zunenian.

I had started to understand more clearly at that moment. Every “thing” word he used was an adjective. If I think of all the things as positive adjectives, my visit to Zunen could be better. Or if I speak as a Zunenian, “my visit to Zunen could be thing“.

I’ve seen much better in the days ahead that this adjective ban, which I didn’t really know why, was really everywhere in Zunen. When we entered a shop, there was “thing” add on all of the products as label advertising. Even some of the products’ labels were as follows. “The thing of thing price is just for today”. They were talking about the lowest price. The lowest was a “thing of thing” or on another product you could see “you can’t find the thing price like that!”

I had the chance to see the names of the schools. They had found a method in the names of schools. For the smallest age groups in children they were using “school of thing“; for the middle age group “2 thing school“; for high age group, “3 thing school“. I didn’t see any college at there. I don’t know why even today. It was written on the signboard of the only hospital on planet we passed near by in the capital: “The thing’s thing hospital of the thing capital of Zunen.”

In fact, Zunen was literally the planet of the things. There was not any information about that in the Humok library in my last visit to Humok. Actually this was not surprising to me, because I knew that Humok’s drunkard librarian made the latest updates about 10 years ago. So it’s likely that Zunen had been transformed into the planet of the things in the last ten years.

My host took me showing around the capital of Zunen for the three days I stayed there. I had the chance to eat Zunen’s most favorite foods and to drink favorite drinks. We also visited a museum with historical artifacts of Zunen. We couldn’t stay inside too much that day, because the museum’s closing time was very close. However, as I understand from the short tour in “The thing museum of Zunen’s thing history“, the Zunenians did not have much to do with historical artifacts. It was surprising that Zunen which has the livings’ history up to 80,000 years had no old artifacts. All the museum artifacts I could see were maximum 50 years old. That was confusing. But I was going to learn the cause of this after a long time; like in the same way I will understand better the headline of the newspaper I’ve read at first day I came here.

The real reason I came to Zunen was, of course, because of a duty that the Galactic Council gave me. Three days later, I have left Zunen by completing my duty which I cannot explain what it was in here for certain reasons. After all, at the end of the three days I spent in a thing environment, it was not my job to interfere with some things other than my duty. However after I left Zunen, I’ve found the drunkard librarian on my 7th visit to the Humok library. I told him I wanted to see the last records of Zunen. Ultimately, he was supposed to have made the last update three years ago, according to my calculation at those days, and from library I was going to learn how Zunen turned into that thing anymore.

The librarian first laughed loudly. Then he asked me when I went to Zunen. “According to end-component time spectrum activity of Universe Time Adjustment Center, it was more than 3 years,” I’ve said. This was an explanation he could understand for the information what he had to give me. “The situation is understood,” he said. And he told me that it would take time for me to read the latest informations about Zunen, but he could explain it briefly. Of course in return of a bit of mercury. I had come Humok prepared. After he took a sip from 2 gr of mercury that I’ve given him, he started to speak straight away.

-Zunen planet rulers, who themselves were the richest of the planet, as long as there was a reaction against the administration on the planet, to prevent this, they first wanted to silence the press. They bought all the newspapers at first. They soon realized that buying newspapers was not a complete solution. Because after a while they saw that the newspapers that wrote the news they wanted, were unreadable. The broadcast channels they bought are likewise. Nobody began to follow the news of the lies. They also monopolized the single source of mineral fluid on the planet. And they gave it’s big share to a planet which was in the same galaxy and produced complete weapons also police robots. Zunen politicians said “With the police robots and weapons we will take in return of Zunen mineral’s share, Zunen would take control of public order and it would be a more peaceful place,” to the public of Zunen. Of course, it did not happen like that.

If Zunenians made a sound against power, they threw them in prison. Almost there was hardly any opposition political party remained. The public was uneasy. Even if the public doesn’t read, doesn’t watch, doesn’t follow any news, they were speaking about the situation and the conditions of the planet among themselves. Zunenians were saying that it’s bad, very bad. They were saying that it’s awful, very awful. With that, the power announced that all negative adjectives were banned as of that day. When the power of the planet was thinking it was a complete relief, a new problem came out. When good adjectives were used too, their opposite situation could be meaningful. For example, what would they do with “high” adjective. Such as high dept or high price. As soon as they realized this, they announced that all adjectives were banned without good or bad distinction. Zunenians would no longer use the adjectives; they would use “thing” instead of all adjectives. Of course, many of the Zunenians stood up against power. Even a short time uprising happened. The administration also charged them as “Adjective Terrorists” and sent them to jail. But, many Zunenians had to be sent to jail, so a new prison was built. Even on the planet, only the signboard of that building does not have the word “thing“. All adjectives and all related with adjectives were symbolized by that prison: “Adjectives penitentiary.” But a couple years later…

The librarian hesitated and asked me again:
-When you have been at there?
-More than 3 years ago.
He laughed again. He was really high. He added:
-So you probably don’t know what happened three years ago and what happened next?
-What happened to Zunenians? I wonder what it was!
-If you give me more mercury, I’ll tell you what happened after you left there.
Drunkard librarian gave me his last reply quizzaciously.

But I didn’t have more mercury. Already I was always falling in his hook, line, and sinker. I used the mercury for another informations on my next Humok library visits. I still don’t know what happened next in Zunen. However, I am sure that a thing result occured in a thing envoriment in that planet of the things.

The soul of 2019

We are in here again! I and WD salute you all our earthling friends! As you can guess today, our traditional new year song is from Iron Maiden again; Up to Irons! 😉

I think this one will be more suitable for the soul of year of 2019. Like in its lyrics:
“Have you ever felt the future is the past, but you dont know how…?
A reflected dream of a captured time, is it really now, is it really happening?”

I think when we live in 2019, we will feel that “all these happened before, and it is happenning again.” Maybe we have read similar things in history. Even if the names change, the events are not too much different. I think humans are not getting smarter years by years. They do make same mistakes. I hope everyone can find own way in the oncoming cloudy future. And while doing this, I am sure that friends and the loved ones will give the strength to you when you need it! Because if there is a hope, this hope will come with accompanying of theirs! Whatever it will come, you still don’t lose our hopes in the dream mirrors. 😉

Like WD. 🙂 I have read his yearly horoscope for 2019 to WD. His sign is Taurus. This was written on his horoscope:
“This year, the dinner events which are open buffet in foreign languages, are not expecting to you. People are in crisis now. Even one olive piece is being calculated. We recommend you diet. It is in your hand to change the food pyramid completely.”

His reaction has been like that: “I do not like open buffets already. My choice is always elegant dinners with my lady dog lover privately. If I would go to open buffet, how I can close to my lover in that crowd!”

As you can see he never loses his hope.:))

By the way between us my earthling friends, that horoscope comment that I have read to WD was from Zaytung. Haha! If he realizes…

-Damn you Migo! So, you did read my horoscope from Zaytung! I knew that something was wrong on it! And you are telling these to my beloved followers, my dear friends! How dare you!

-Calm down WD. It was just a joke. 😎

-I cannot be calm down Migo! Do you know how much I was ruined when I thought that I have lost all invites for open buffets, all good foods! My sorrow is not a joke!

-Okay. Do you want to listen what your real horoscope sign tells?

-NO! I do not want! You can foolish me again!

-I will not do in this time.

-No Migo, you broke my heart!

-Are you sure you don’t want to listen. It is really good things are written. Even it says that a new love could be seen in 2019 for you, a special one.

-Really?

-Yes, really.

-All right, just in this time, you can read. But only this time. I am still angry, but I can forgive you just in this time. It’s not because of that I’m curious about my new love; it is because of I am a dog with very big heart!

-Okay I am reading…

🙂

And, WD and I wish to all you healty (as mind and body:)), peaceful and happy new year with your loved ones!

See you next year 😉

Mutlu Yeni Yıllar! — С новым годом! — Happy New Year!

Aaare youuu readyy for the new episode of Russia&Ukraine dissension!

Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall and for the Holy Churches Championship! Introducing first from Russian Orthodox Church on the red corner, in heavyweight. And, introducing the challenger from Ukranian Orthodox Church on blue corner, in middleweight! Please welcome both! Are you ready for Holy Glory!

The incident occurred in 06.12.2018 in the village of Vinyantintsi in the Ternopil Province of Ukraine. The fight broke out when “Archbishop” Tikhon Petranyuk of the Ukrainian Autocephalous Orthodox Church entered the church during a service to read out a decree banning the “priest” John Boikoof the Orthodox Church of the Kiev Patriarchate from serving. The clergymen who cannot share the church have fought and punched with each other in the front of the citizens who came for worship to the church.

The Archbishop who began to read the decision about the Priest Boikoof by entering the church even though the people closed the door on him, faced the reaction of the people. When the Archbishop’s wand was broken, the trouble was stired up in church. The priest who had concussion of the brain and fractured his rib was taken to hospital.

The incident took place before the unifying council meeting in Ukraine on December 15th, with representatives of all Orthodox churches.

When you have read the first lines of this post, you have thought probably “Our extraterrestrial friend Migo is making humor again.” 😃 But I did not make my earthling friends; when everything was so clear, it was not need to, haha! While there is a fight, a broken rib and brain concussion in the middle, the scenes are not different from boxing ring. Even we can say that boxing ring is more fair than these. Already we all know that after the last moment in the boxing ring, there is a winner of the match. But in this events, so in the churches’ events there are many politic conflicts and unknown things in background. We can only filter some of them in our views. However, we can still use the similarities to evaluate the fighting of churches in terms of boxing.

Is Russian Orthodox Church on the ropes?

The quotes from Turkish journalist Deniz Berktay’s article dated in August 8, 2018:

“This year, perhaps the largest crisis of the Orthodox world, the Patriarchate of Constantinople (also known as Fener Greek Patriarchate in Istanbul) and the Moscow Patriarchate, is expected to break out. The Patriarchate of Constantinople is preparing to officially recognize the Kiev Patriarchate, which was founded by nationalist monks who left the Russian Church in Ukraine, which has great importance by both the Russian administration and the Russian Orthodox Church (Moscow Patriarchate) by declaring in its own spiritual sphere. In this regard, News were reported suggesting that the United States has actively supported the Patriarchate of Constantinople and nationalist monks in Ukraine. Initially, the Patriarchate of Constantinople was expected to take this decision at the end of July (before the celebration of the 1030th anniversary of the acceptance of the Christianity of the Russians and Ukrainians)…

In orthodox societies, if it is remembered how the church has an important place in the construction of national identity, the people who want to gain independence and the majority of the population of the Orthodox countries are trying to have independent national church before the independent state (like the Bulgarians), it would be understood more clear that the struggle is not an ordinary religious conflict. In a way, this struggle is a matter of tearing Ukraine’s ties with Russia in every sense. On the other hand, there have been severe tensions between the Patriarchate of Constantinople (the Fener Greek Patriarchate) and the Moscow Patriarchate since the Cold War. Recalling that the Moscow Patriarchate implemented policies in parallel to the Kremlin administration, it is understood that this struggle also formed the religious pillar of the US-Russian conflict…”

Who tries to throw his hat into the ring?

Bartholomew ‘hopes’ for independent Ukrainian Church

Patriarch Bartholomew (right) with Russian Orthodox Church Patriarch Kirill

September 24, 2018. Istanbul Fener Greek Orthodox Patriarch Dimitri Bartholomew said on Sept. 23 that he hoped for an independent Ukrainian Church soon “despite the current opposition.”

“I hope that despite the current opposition, the Ukrainian Church gets its independence status, which is their right, soon,” Bartholomew said in a speech he made following the Sunday church service held at the Saint Fokas Orthodox Church in Istanbul’s Ortakoy neighborhood.

Bartholomew said that the Istanbul-based Patriarchate granted independence status initially to the Russian Church in the 16th century and then lastly to the Orthodox churches of the Czech Republic and Slovakia in 1998, state-run Anadolu Agency reported.

He said the Istanbul-based Patriarchate provides spiritual protection and love for these churches, adding they would not be “scared of threats.”

The Ukrainian Church wants to have “ecclesiastic independence” from the Church of Moscow and all of Russia but needs the approval of Bartholomew, since he is recognized as ecumenical by all other Orthodox churches.

The Ukrainian Church is split between a branch whose clerics pledge loyalty to Moscow and one that is overseen by the unrecognized Kiev-based Patriarch Filaret.

The fracture has deepened following a four-year conflict between Kiev and Russian-backed rebels in eastern Ukraine and the Russian annexation of Crimea.

Earlier this month, Bartholomew sent two representatives to Ukraine, leading an incensed Russian Orthodox Church to cut ties with the spiritual leader of the world’s Orthodox Christians at an emergency meeting on Sept. 14.

(Additional information:
The Patriarchate of Constantinople, also known as Fener Greek Patriarchate in Istanbul, is Ecumenical Patriarchate. It is an honorary priority among the headman and equal Orthodox churches. It tries to achieve the unity of the Orthodox churches. It was equated with the Roman Patriarchate in 451 AD by the decisions of the 4th Ecumenical Council gathered in Kadikoy, Istanbul. The Orthodox Church was separated from the Catholic Church in the 5th century. After the conquest of Istanbul, Fatih Sultan Mehmet, for Gennadios, who was elected as the Patriarch of Constantinople, issued a decree in Turkish and Islamic law, which showed the duties and powers of the patriarch, giving him some privileges. )

As it is understood, whereas it needs to be the Patriarch of Constantinople should be unifying all the orthodox churches, on the other side he is making statements to Ukranian church such as “seperate from Russia, I support you”. I think he wants this merger “under its own roof”. 😎 He could envy the Pope, the spiritual leader of the Catholics? Of course, Pope is almost a movie star! Even he has a profession where he earns a lot of money more than the Hollywood stars in every his steps on the planet. And all the shimmering gigantic outfits! Yeah, that could be jealousy, haha!

Can Russia roll with the punches?

“I am your pastor and your spiritual father in here.”

14.12.2018. The Fener Greek Patriarch Bartholomew, evaluated the decision of the Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church Kirill’s decision to send a Russian priest to serve in the church of the Consulate General of Russia in Istanbul with the following words:

“This concern into the Russian community in Istanbul and Turkey in general and this dilemma, Russian saints church, brother of the Moscow Patriarchate Ecumenical Patriarchate, ie in the direction of cutting ties with it’s mother church, which stems from the extreme decision. We may have different perspectives on the various problems that the Orthodox church deals with. It’s completely human and democratic. However, it is unacceptable to use the interruption of relations as a means of oppression and imposition to make others agree with their views. “I’m sure the Russian sister church will regret this extreme decision.”

According to Sputnik news, Bartholomew, who accused the Russian Orthodox Church of interfering with the works of the Fener Greek Patriarchate, said, “The priest from Moscow was sent to serve in the church at the Consulate General of Russia in Istanbul. It is illegal, because this church is spiritual and belongs to legal Fener Greek Patriarchate”.

He also said the Russians in Turkey not to listen to Moscow Patriarchate, and added, “I am your pastor and your spiritual father in here.”

“-I am your father, not him!” “-No, I am the father of all of you, not him! “-No, no, I am”, “-Nooo, I am,” and goes on like that. 🙂 I think someone needs to make paternity test, and all world can be relief, haha!

Which one will lead with its chin?

Ukraine announces creation of independent church, selects leader

December 15, 2018. Ukrainian Orthodox leaders have agreed on the creation of a new national Orthodox church and elected a leader to head that church, a move that Ukraine’s leaders say is vital to the country’s security and independence but could raise tensions further with Moscow.

Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko said 39-year-old Metropolitan Epifaniy of the Kyiv Patriarchate church had been chosen as head of the church by a council, comparing the move to Ukraine’s referendum for independence from the Soviet Union in 1991.

“This day will go into history as a sacred day…the day of the final independence from Russia,” Poroshenko told thousands of supporters in central Kyiv on December 15.

“And Ukraine will no longer drink, in the words of Taras Shevchenko, ‘Moscow’s poison from Moscow’s cup,'” he said, quoting the country’s national poet.

Poroshenko said Ukrainians finally had their own Orthodox church.

“What is this church? This is a church without [Russian President Vladimir] Putin. What is this church? This church is without [Russian Orthodox Patriarch] Kirill. What is this church? This is a church without prayers for the Russian authorities and Russian troops, because they kill Ukrainians. But this is a church with God and Ukraine!”

Preemptive maneuver…

Canonical Ukrainian Church refuses to recognise ‘New Church’ created by Kiev

16.12.2018, MOSCOW (Sputnik) – The Ukrainian Orthodox Church of the Moscow Patriarchate (UOC-MP), the only canonical Orthodox church in Ukraine, refuses to recognize the structure created on Saturday in Kiev at the “unification council”, Archpriest Mykolay Danylevych said.

“The schismatics remained schismatics, and the Church remained the Church. It was joyful and gratifying that the bishops, clergy and believers remained loyal to the Church. The Church has manifested its unity. It is regrettable that there were few ones that went into schism, and also that this schism was supported by the Patriarchate of Constantinople. But no matter how hard they tried to proclaim the schism as the Church, and non-canonical as canonical, the Body of the Church of Christ will not accept this, because the structure that was created yesterday was and is an extraneous body that is rejected and not accepted by the Body of the Church,” Archpriest Mykolay Danylevych, the deputy chairman of the UOC-MP Department for External Church Relations (DECR), wrote on Facebook Sunday.

Following the unification council, the Estonian Orthodox Church of the Moscow Patriarchate (EOC-MP) also did not recognize its results. Metropolitan of Kiev and All Ukraine Onufriy was and remains the legitimate head of the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, despite the creation of the “new church” in Kiev, spokesman for the EOC-MP Archpriest Daniel Lepisk said.

“Metropolitan Onufriy as he was and remained for us the legitimate head of the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, and in this respect, nothing has changed for us. These ‘churches’ [organizers of the ‘council’] were considered schismatic even before that. From the fact that instead of two old churches they created one new, the essence has not changed,” Lepisk noted.

Is there a way of one of them would throw in the towel?

I do not think so, my earthling friends. These are big issues. Even if the audience of the match is waiting for the result with excitement, this match will take longer. I do not expect any physical conflict on the field until the weather gets warmer and the season terms are better in the region. 🙂 Of course, I don’t think either the parties are going to idle around in the meantime. There will be bargains in the background. They will do what they can corner the opponent. We can assume until that time what will happen in politic future between west and Russia by following churches’ movements. Like “follow the money”, haha!

As an atheist extraterrestrial, religious issues have always been unnecessary to me. But such conflicts like in here are exciting even enough to attract the attention of aliens. And I, like everyone else, wonder when the outcome of the match will be. On the other hand, I suppose this match will continue as long as humanity has left its footprint on this planet. 😎

Someday, Jamal Khashoggi enters Saudi Consulate and…

Almost everyone in the world has followed the news about the death of Jamal Khashoggi, and still does. I wanted that all of us to see these news with Zaytung’s difference. You know, I’had shared three times the news of Zaytung with you a long time ago. The motto of Zaytung, that has satire and humor news: “Honest, impartiality, immoral news.” Zaytung made a lot of satire news about Khashoggi murder. I’ve chosen some of them(because I do not have too much time), and I’ve translated them into English as much as I can.

Also, do you know, Saudi Arabia criminalized humor, 5 year prison term for posting satire to social media in September 4, 2018, my earthling friends? The administration of Saudi Arabia needs to understand that even if they think to prevent everything as much as they want in Saudi Arabia, they cannot prevent all over the world. Someone in another place on the planet will continue to criticize their management in the most beautiful way, so by satire and humor. However, if they think that there is no such thing as bad advertising, it is an another issue, haha!

And here some Zaytung news about Khashoggi murder.

Breaking news…

Saudi Arabia: “Friends! To keep the memory of Khashoggi in everywhere in consulate, by separating himself into pieces…”

Breaking news…

It was announced that the wireless contact lost with some of the police officers who entered the Consulate of Saudi Arabia for making search. At the Istanbul Police Department anxious wait continues...

Photo news…

Photo news….

Panic in Saudi Arabia, that needs to get billions of dollars weapons to smooth Khashoggi murder over from the United States again: “There is no place left for putting airplane in the country!”

News…

Saudi Arabia shared the images of the giant meat grinder, which the Jamal Khashoggi accidentally fallen into during the melee at the consulate….

Really, it is a great misfortune

Saudi Arabia Foreign Minister Adel Al-Jubeyr, at a press conference, shared his sorrow due to Khashoggi’s death and said, “It is a great misfortune that a simple melee will end in such a terrible way. When he was pushed, his foot slips and accidentally falls into the giant meat grinder that is running at that moment; but the machine kept working. It’s really incredible, but once if human’s time comes to end… Anyway, again sorry for our loss.”

Machine was dismissed

While Jubeyr was emphasising that the machine was dismissed and brought to Saudi Arabia, he said that after then the trial, the machine will probably face the penalty of death. Also by adding, “This punishment will send a strong message to other meat grinders. We also made the necessary warnings to our staff. Henceforth, it is strictly forbidden to scuffle and joke around these machines. There will not be even a small concession on this issue,” he gave messages to ease to the world public.

Photo news…

Khashoggi’s stuntman, Al-Medeni: I’ve offered to enter the meat grinder instead of him, but Mr. Jamal didn’t want to use the stunt…

Photo news…

News…

With Khashoggi murder, Turkey which reaches good ratings in world wide will release the rest of the investigation for a fee on the internet…

…The Presidential Spokesman stated that they are working on infrastructure works of a Netflix-like platform with the subscription system that about to be completed. In addition, he gave the good news that the channel will begin broadcasting also in British and Arabic very soon on InvestigationHD.Turkiye.Gov.tr, web page.

While spokesman was saying that those who want to follow Khashoggi investigation can get the latest information and shocking images before anyone for a small fee like $ 5 per month by subscribing to the channel, also added, “Believe me, you will not regret. Because we have more weird informations. I can tell you the images we watched so far is nothing. What they did with the body, what happened at the farm, the shock images from the trunk of the vehicle, all of them and more are coming in investigationHD!”…

Photo news…

Photo news…

…….

If there would be another Zaytung news about Khashoggi murder in future, I will add them too in here, my earthling friends. 😎

 

 

Espionage business

SoL.haber

CIA Director Gina Haspel, yesterday in her statements gave information about the organization’s roadmap. Haspel, the organization again “will concentrate on nation-states,” she said.

According to the Washington Post, the CIA Director said it would be interested in states that are “challenging or threatening the United States,” as it did before September 11th.

With Haspel’s statements, the recent transformation in the CIA has been confirmed. After September 11, it was mentioned that the CIA, who was involved in jihadist organizations in other countries and provided training and equip activities, would focus on the spies against the states again.

According to the news, Haspel did not say the names of the countries they would spy on. She didn’t name specific countries, but the agency has set up new centers to collect intelligence on Iran and North Korea and has been focusing its assets on major powers such as Russia and China, according to intelligence officials.

Haspel also stated that they will work on this issue by argueing that the DPRC would not abandon its nuclear weapons. US President Donald Trump says the DPRC is in compliance with their agreements and is on the road to nuclear disarmament. In her speech, Haspel addressed Iran and argued that Iran “destabilized” the region.

CIA Director said the CIA is closely monitoring China’s efforts to expand its influence in developing nations in Latin America, Africa and South Asia, including by offering loans to poor countries that they cannot repay.

Haspel also said that recruiting and retaining officers with foreign language expertise would be among her priorities, particularly recruits who speak Arabic, Chinese, Farsi and Turkish. And she placed particular emphasis on the agency’s efforts to recruit a more diverse workforce.

When I’ve read this news yesterday, for me the most interesting part was that the CIA would train agents who speak Arabic, Chinese, Farsi and Turkish. And this joke came to my mind.

The CIA trains agents for Russia. Of course they learn Russian fluently. One of them starts his mission in Moscow. In the evening, the CIA agent goes to a bar. He wants vodka from bartender. He also describes the brand of vodka in detail and how he wants it. His Russian is really good. Bartender approaches to the CIA agent.

“Are you sure?” he asks
The CIA agent is surprised and asks
“Why did you ask this question?” to the bartender.
The bartender says “I am guessing you’ll want whiskey.”
The CIA agent says “I like vodka as every Russian”
Bartender asks:
“Are you Russian?”
CIA agent, “Of course I am!” says loudly. The bartender smiles at him:
“I’ve never seen a black Russian; my mistake.”

I am still laughing, haha! I know there are so much things can be said on this news. But thinking this joke and many other jokes about spying, I cannot write more over on this news. 🙂

 

Hot days, very hot days, very very hot summer, being a rock star, betrayal of the best friend, and that SMELL!

It was time to start doing something new in this summer. What should I have done? Summer is long, hot and boring. I had to evaluate this time to make a fresh start in my career. But what? After a long time thinking, so about 3 minutes (it is long for a smart dog like me, anyway), I decided to start my music career. Already I have been always dreaming of being a musician. Especially rock musician! After writing a good lyric and composing good melody, all the lovely lady dogs will run after me during the summer. This is a dog’s dream!

I didn’t ask Migo, because his voice is like a crow. I don’t think he can write lyric either. If you ask him to write the lyrics, he would give you a plain article about all the problems in the world. And he would say to you: “You choose the words from within.” The song he wrote would never be hit.

I imagine myself in “the” awesome moment that all the lovely lady dogs accompany me by waving their tails and hairs while I am on stage at a big concert. So Migo is not a solution for music, even it can be a music problem. Because of this and all reasons (that is, considering Migo’s dangerous situation as being extraterrestrial for our planet) I did not ask help from Migo. Ultimately, a dog’s got to do what a dog’s got to do!

I had to do the composition first, but the composition was already ready. I have transformed a rhythm that I constantly mumbled into a short melody. It was starting “hauuhaauuu” and going on with “hauhauuhav”. It was the beatiful composition! Writing lyric on it was the most difficult.

Day 1

I think of the first line of the song. I know that if I start, the rest will come. Let’s start!
“You and me in the park on the same time”

No, that did not happen; what’s the same time at the park! What a nonsense. Try different begining! I am trusting myself!

“You and me my darling, under the stars”

No way! If it was Migo,he would write like that! Stars, planets, and all sky things are not my business!

“You and me together on the beach tonight”

Very stereotyped! This entry is too bad to be the entry of any hit song! What time is it? I’m hungry. I should call Migo and we go to eat somethings. Lyrics are not being written with empty stomach!

Day 2

The air is getting hot. This heat .. Wait! I found it, the first line of the song.
“It’s so hot, but thinking of you freezes me.”

Hmm, there is something wrong with this sentence. Actually, it must have been the other way around. In real, to think of a lady dog warms me up. I’m being ridiculous. The best thing is to go outside and take a breath and tomorrow make a spectacular entry by being rested. Where is Migo!

Day 3

The weather is hot again. But I have to write the lyrics of this song. If I can make the entry, the rest is already here. What could it be?

“Even if the heat makes me upset, to think of you is like ice cream, darling.”

I’m nonsense again. Every female dog does not like ice cream! By the way, I wanted ice cream. Let’s go out with Migo and get some ice cream. I’ll start again tomorrow.

Day 4

Instead of drooling in this very hot weather, I go to the beach and hang out with some lady dogs.

Day 5, Day 6 … Day 18

Day 19

A new dog came to the neighborhood, its name is Brown Beard. I’ve never seen a dog as annoying as he was! Why all the beautiful lady dogs after him? They are ignoring me… I have to get my popularity back again. Where I’ve been? Yes, yes, I’m on the first line still.

“Some lovers come and go, but I’m always here, darling.”

What the hell! Certainly, this Brown Beard played with my psychology! Am I a loser? Why am I always here? I have to be an inaccessible rock star! I wonder where is Migo? We need to go out. Today I am out of shape.

Day 28

Damn you Brown Beard! As if nice lady dogs aren’t enough for him, now he is trying to take my best friend Black Head from me! I have not had such a terrible summer! The weather is too hot. Where are you Migo, open this air-condition! Or is Migo also hanging out with this new popular dog, Brown Beard? Any lyric can not be written with this psychology! Migoo!

Day 39

We were almost fighting with Brown Beard today! I’m so angry. And, Black Head is not my best friend anymore! Damn him, too! He stabbed me in the back! Maybe I should transfer my anger and pain on the lines. Does not every artist give his/her best works after painful experiences? Yes, it must be my day! Let’s start!

“I can be your best friend, but never let me down, darling!”

What? What did I mean by now? Offf … Not again! Very hot, verrry!

Day 46

There’s sewer smelling in the city today. The smell of shit, it is not a joke, it’s real! It is said that there was a malfunction in the city’s sewage clean-up system and they drained the sewers without purifing to the gulf. Migo was upset today. He’s a bit worse than me due to as an alien he smells like hound. We’re sitting by closed door and windows and opened air condition. I guess this smell won’t be tomorrow. The air conditioner is cooling me off, let me sleep till night, I would start writing the song tomorrow.

Day 55

It’s been nine days, yes last nine days the city smells of sewer! The municipality still couldn’t fix it; because of the smelling of shit, Migo puts a clothespin on his nose, and I have been masked. But my mask doesn’t work. At nights he could not sleep because Migo has to remove the clothespin. Bad days. I couldn’t write my song yet. Summer is over, but I still don’t have a song. If it wasn’t the smell, I definitelly would have written. But this smell blows the whole thing!

Day 57

This song will be written, even if there is smell of poop! Lets start!

“Life is beautiful with you, everything is beatiful with you, even if this city smells sewer!”

Uupps! This did not happen! Start from the begining!

“Speaking of smell, my darling, smell of poop beside every smell…”

Damn it! Start from the begining!

“Darling, I miss you now, even I miss your poop smell.”

Again! This is not going to like that, I won’t be able to write this song before this smell runs out!

Day 63

City is still under the sewer smell, but it looks a little diminished. Maybe it doesn’t smell anymore, and maybe the smell stuck to my nose and it seems to me that it always smells like shit. Wet wipes don’t help. In future, I’m not going to get a smell of anything except poop? And if the lady dogs are the same, or if they forget my smell! But wait a minute, if they forgot my smell, it means that they forgot the smell of that new damned dog, Brown Beard’s smell! My mood lifted, haha! This is an opportunity, I must write the song immediately. If I complete the song at this weekend, I can go on stage next week! Yes! Come Erato, come!

“I loved you in every way of you my darling, even if we poop in the same place!”

…I am exhausted!

Day 73

This time I will continue to write whatever I write. The summer ends but my song will not finish! Yes, this is the last trial! Here is my song lyrics!

This summer was hot, my darling,
I’ve sweltered, I licked ice cream,
and the empty beer boxes.
I’ve never liked the brown!
Every where around me was you and the smell of poop.
But okay, me and you, you and the city,
Betrayer Black Head, damn a friend like you!
Darling, never mind these words,
This song is for both of us!

It’s not bad, actually. It is not so lacking than a rock song. Who am I kidding! Does it make me a rock star? Maybe the songs can’t be written in summer. Maybe maybe maybe. Where is Migo, he can tell me if there is smell still.

Of course, this will not get me down, I’ll try my luck in other areas. I had tried the movie career before. You would remember, my beloved readers, my friends, my brothers and sisters and the Romans! (Romans???) Anyway, I hadn’t stop after that experiment. Maybe writing a movie script or making a song isn’t for me. Maybe I should find something else. The next period will show what it is. And here we are again! Migo’s also probably in here somewhere. I know you all missed me more than Migo, and in this time he promised me that he will not intervene between you and me. 😉 A new hello once again to everyone!

 

Probably Elon Musk was bored of subcontracting of space works and he is looking for new business opportunities in the field of “humor”

Elon Musk, who tweeted this yesterday, made a determination. Of course you can not expect a non-cliché from a capitalist tech broker. If we go through on this tweet;

So, then, if his claim “Those who proclaim themselves “socialists” are usually depressing, have no sense of humor” is true; with the opposite thesis, according to Elon Musk, the capitalists should be described as follows:

“Those who are capitalists are usually fun, they have a sense of humor.”

Hmmm, really?

Let’s see what the capitalists give the value for humor. They must have an actional qualification so that humor can be produced on it. That is to say, humans who make a humor must add humor to their lives.

As Elon Musk, who tweeted this, let us imagine that, we think that he adds humor to his life as a capitalist.

Let’s look at the actional activities of a CEO of a big company, and now let’s imagine how he could make humor with them.

According to the news at Businessinsider May 18, 2017, the workers in Tesla’s Fremont, California plant, which is advertised as “factory of the future”, are working under bad working conditions.

Inside the news, some factory workers say that:

“I’ve seen people pass out, hit the floor like a pancake and smash their face open,” said Jonathan Galescu, a production technician at Tesla. “They just send us to work around him while he’s still laying on the floor.”

How Elon Musk may have made a humor on this subject through his actions in his life?

But with the hearing of this incident, he could have made an ad like this. Following could be my advertisement recommendation to him:

“At the future factory, we calculated the speed of falling down of every workers. The result has surprised us all; despite all fatigue, the fall rate of an exhausted worker is 0.03 seconds! It is possible with us to make this figure ideal! Come together, let’s accelerate the fainting times of the workers at future factory!”

Another worker says at the same news:
“It’s like you died and went to auto-worker heaven.”

Most likely, this worker’s remarkable word “auto-worker heaven” also probably may have made Elon Musk laugh.

Then he could make an advertisement like this. My another ad offer to him:

“As our future factory workers have stated, auto-worker heaven is possible with us!”

Because of I am not a capitalist, Elon Musk can use my advertising suggestions, if he wants; I will not claim any profit from him, haha!

Four days ago, Elon Musk tweeted another tweet. And he has shared the news which was already infiltrated press that 9% of Tesla employees will be dismissed.

He says that “It’s a hard decision, but we need to reduce costs and become profit,” at the tweet.

So about 3,600 people are getting out of the business, let’s say that they are family consisting of at least 4 people, with this about 14,600 people’s life conditions will become difficult after then. Over that, Musk, what a humor he can make? In account of the necessity of humor in the actions of his own life as a capitalist. I think he can sample Marie-Antoinette, and if he can say shortly, “Let them eat cake”.

Today, Musk who talks about socialists and mentioned that they supposedly lack of humor, does not he know that the real humor comes from the intelligences of the system opponents who evaluate the absurdities as best? The best humorists who joke with the socialists come out from socialists again. For example, the Trotskyist produces humor against Stalinist, or Leninist against the Maoist. Elon Musk, please show me(or anyone else) one example of a real humor, that humor is made by a capitalist against a socialist or communist. Just show only one; really, if he does do that I’ll explain it here, and I’ll applaud him here. But unfortunatelly, he will look for it in vain.

In addition to all of this, I also saw his another tweet while looking at Elon Musk’s tweets. He says,

It seems that Elon Musk never understood Asimov. I give bad news to Elon Musk. It seems that he believed very much to the some people who make similarities between Hari Seldon and himself; but only superficial and coercive resemblance can be created between Hari Seldon and Elon Musk. I do not even mention Douglas Adams. How may Elon Musk embrace the philosophy of a gifted writer who set up perfect phrases such as, “I’d take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day,”?

There are also those who praise Elon Musk under his tweets, there are those who defend him; their situation is piteous. If you ask them, most of them are paid jobs, they are exploited for long hours. But the power of the mainstream media is this: To make people feel like about some such as their pioneers or heroes; for people who contrast their realities in virtual worlds without seeing their own reality. Who feel like that are kind of the Violinists at the Titanic, haha!

I would also give a tip to Elon Musk as a communist extraterrestrial by violating at least three rules of the Galactic Council: The human species will not colonize successfully on another planet for at least 250 years. And that planet will not be Mars. So you can forget about Mars. 😉

Holy criminal code

TASS June 5, 2018

Lost in translation: Russian family mistook Soviet Criminal Code for Quran for generations

The senior citizen told reporters that her family had passed the book from generation to generation

UFA, June 5. /TASS/. A family from Russia’s Bashkortostan Region has presented the local museum of the Interior Ministry with a 1926 Arabic language edition of the Soviet Criminal Code, which they misidentified as the Quran for many years, the ministry’s press service said on Tuesday.

“The museum was presented with the 1926 edition of the criminal Code in the Arabic language. The book’s elderly owner said she had mistaken it for the Quran and put under her child’s head,” the press service said, adding that the woman’s son later served in the police.

The senior citizen told reporters that her family had passed the book from generation to generation.

“My mother said that this was a holy book, which should be wrapped in cloth and placed under a pillow so that children would keep calm and not misbehave,” the elderly lady explained. “Many years later we found out that this is the 1926 edition of the Soviet Criminal Code.”

The museum of the Interior Ministry was opened in Ufa, the capital of Bashkortostan, in 1982.
I am still laughing this news, haha!

The song that you listen while the economic crisis is rising

Today I have read one of my earthling friend, Nick’s post: Economic Chaos 100 years later

After a little while read his post, I have seen another title in Turkish social network “eksisozluk”. The title was “The song you listen while 1 dollar goes to 5 TL”

Right now, 1 dollar is equal 4.83 Turkish Liras.

Today, it would seem that my front, my back, my right, my left, all my sides are economic crisis. 🙂

The economic crisis does not affect only ordinary people in the world, it affects extraterrestrials like us. (Do not believe in science fiction movies, we do not spend our lives on this planet with the lightsabers in hand or super-advanced equipments. We do not even have an union.:)) That’s why I have picked my song. Here it is. It is Cem Karaca’s song in Anatolian-rock genre from 1999.

The song that is quite entertaining, as can be understood from its rhythm. It’s lyrics are sarcastic. And here it’s lyrics: -I have translated only some parts because it is very long-

We’ve boarded on something really big, we go to the end of the world. (amanin)
Road you said, like every road
it should reach a place
While we turn and turn around
we come always to the same place
This cycle is vicious cycle
There is no begining and no end
I am turning but I can not turning back
There is no exit at the end
(amaninnn)

We’ve boarded on something really big, we go to the end of the world (amaninnn)

Local and general election
You select, let’s select
So we turn and turn around of it
we come always to the same place

Old times, we were like every man
We sat down and ate appetizers
Now, like eating appetizers
we sit and eat the man.
Then, you get your deserts!

What is really going to happen at the end of these things
In truth, there is no question “what will be”
We will turn, we will turn, we will come back to the same place

There is no begining and no end
I am turning but I can not turning back
There is no exit at the end
(amaninnn)

We’ve boarded on something really big, we go to the end of the world,

let’s dance!

We’ve boarded on something really big, we go to the end of the world.(amaninnn)

What is your song my earthling friends, that you listen while the economic crisis is rising? 🙂

Old black-white French noir movies, my love life and toilet door

This folk song is perhaps the most appropriate song that describes the general situation of my love life. It is a very fun song, isn’t it?
What it tells with its lyrics in the general sense:

“You said me on monday we would go to date, I came but you were not. You deceived me.
-Yes, it is true, I deceived you.
You said me on tuesday, you would kiss me, I came but you were not. You deceived me.
-Yes, it is true, I deceived you.
You said me on wednesday, we would go to walk together. I came but you were not. You deceived me.
-Yes, it is true, I deceived you.
You said me on thursday, you would come to concert with me, I came but you were not. You deceived me.
-Yes, it is true, I deceived you.

…”

In short, the song is the story of a lover man who is deceived in all the days of the week by his lover.

Is it similar with my love life? Actually, it is not at all! Because, I do not even have a darling who can fool me during a week!

My love life has hit the bottom again. Whenever I meet a lady dog who stolen my heart, that big love ends before it’s beginning. A lot of things that can happen, are evaporating all in a moment.

My love life is like old black-white French noir movies.

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Numerous depressions, despairs, and coincidences that are not certain where it come out. At the end, that is me, who can not even know where will bump into! I, who even can not stand watching these French movies for 5 minutes, I have to live it in real life. Maybe I am the most unfortunate dog of world history!

Recently, with a lady dog which I fall in love, I came in front of a door seller’s shop. How I came here is a different matter. Of course that event was linked to Migo. The toilet door was not closing. Migo, had to take out the lock part of the door and tried to fix it. But of course, he could not do. After a two-day long struggle, he thought that he would work on it more easily by removing the door. He took the door off. He changed the latch bolt, but in this time he could not replace the door in its place again. The toilet door was open for three days, because we do not have toilet door. On the fourth day, Migo thought that the door was swollen due to it was old, and needed a new door. Then we started looking around the door sellers. I came across the gorgeous lady dog who played with my heart of the second shop we entered.

Just like in this video, she was cute, confident, and dangerous. I did not know what will I do when I saw her. My heart was beating fast. I went to her side and tried to chat. But she did not even look at my face. She turned around and went to next the shop owner. By the way, Migo was bargaining with the shop owner when he heard that the door price was too high. The voices of the shop owner and Migo rised against each other. Before I could not understand what it was, we quickly left the shop with Migo. Migo was saying, “They are thieves, it is just a door, how this price could be!” When I returned my back, I saw the magnificent lady dog inside the shop, while she kept her guard up next to shop owner and scowled at me.

Migo had finished my love life before it started! Yes, he was responsible again. If we had bought the door from that shop, maybe I would have a chance to get a date with that wonderful lady dog. But as I said, I’m not even in a position to say that folk song. There is no lady dog who will deceive me!

It’s all Migo’s fault! As usual! Damn you, Migo!

In the meantime, if you are curious about the toilet door, Migo called one of his friends and they both put the old door in its place with together. Migo’s friend told him, “if you had called a locksmith at first, it would not have been a problem for so many days.” I had told same to Migo at the first day, but who listened to me!