Some honest, impartial and immoral news!

“Honest, impartial and immoral news” is the slogan of the Zaytung which is most popular humor web site in Turkey.

Zaytung news seem always absurd but mostly contain satire. The opponents in Turkey share Zaytung news on social media often. The news Zaytung made are not real in reality, but these news make lampooning over the events what really happen.

In meantime, I should add that there are some events happened in Turkey that the people of Turkey cannot really understand these are Zaytung news or not.:) For them, describing “As Zaytung news” is used among the people.

The link of Zaytung:

Anyway I hope you like these news like me, here is some of Zaytung news:)

–These two are about Turkey-Russia crisis. You know last two days there are the news about Russia made second border violation to Turkey with war plane:

“Netherland Prime Minister Mark Rutte said Vladimir Putin with anger: “I don’t know it is about the similarity flag or not, but they have attacked to us again! Are you happy!”
“After second Russia border violation, Netherland flag has changed. This is the new Netherland flag.”

–The disagreement among Turkey and Russia came out about the subject of the groups which will attend Geneva Conference for refugees crisis, for represent of Syria. While Turkey government says “we cannot accept the some Kurdish groups,” Kremlin was saying “they should be at there”. This Zaytung news is about this:

After the showdown, Andorra that the only country which will join to Geneva talks, is confused: “What was the issue, bro?”

This news details contuniue like that:

“As understood from the mutual statement, Andorra which its attends will never bother the anyone has stepped up the researches to understand what the issue is in Syria.

Minister for internal affairs of Andorra said “I’ve found myself unexpectedly at Geneva, and as first impression that we suspect some unpleasantness events in Syria were lived .” And he added:

“It is obvious there are some things, if the invitation came to even us… According to social media news it has been said there is a war… We will keep anymore. I’d want that they should be face to face, but it seems difficult. Look at these, UN, NATO, USA, Russia, UN Security Council, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Syria, YPG, ISIS end etc. For the sake of God, we are very small country! Which unscrupulous wants to pay us the bill! They skin us alive!”

–This Zaytung news about Turkey’s good(!) relationship with the other countries:

Perú será sede del periodo de sesiones de la CEPAL en el 2014
Peru that hasn’t been subject for Turkey into last 12 years, opens course about “how I hid myself from Turkey” within UN.

The details of this: Peru that succeed to run away during last 12 years(12 years is this government period) from the radar of Turkey which has the potential to have problems with almost every country, gets into act. Statesmen of this succesful country will share the secrets of living in peace without being subject by Turkey, with members of UN.

“We want to share our experiences” said Peru’s foreign minister continued his words: “We invite all countries the course that we’ll open. In return for insignificant fee, we will share some formulas which will make comfortable to each country far away from Turkey’s radar for years.”

–This Zaytung news about freedom speech(!) in Turkey:

TUBITAK (Science and Technical Research Council of Turkey), has developed system that can detect 4 minutes ago from the insulting to the president Tayyip Erdogan

TUBITAK ongoing scientific work without a break, finally run the systems that can detect up to 4 minutes before to insult to Erdogan. So far the best result for half an hour delayed insults were detected, henceforth the insults can be prevented by identifing 4 minutes in advance…

–This one about refugees crisis:

With 4000 years old sunken-ship which was found near by Mugla city coast of Aegean Sea, the refugees tragedy from Mesopotamia to Europe came out the light.


10 thoughts on “Some honest, impartial and immoral news!

  1. Andorra’s reaction seems interesting … need to search to find what’s behind all that again. Interesting piece

    Liked by 1 person

      • I admit that my mind was focused on news but i was expecting that Trinidad and Tobago , Vatican & Mount Athos were also invited in the Geneva talks and propose their solution, now i’m so discouraged to continue my research on Androrra

        Liked by 1 person

  2. So if I didn’t quite get it all (I did get some of the humor), it’s okay, because none of it is exactly real, except that the complete absurdity of our reality is actually being faithfully mirrored by the complete absurdity of the stories in Zaytung, albeit if fictively.

    I like the juxtaposition of Rutte and Putin, with the latter looking quite chastened.

    And yes, I think I ‘get’ the point being made with the 4,000 year-old shipwreck: it’s only a refugee crisis if the refugees make it to Europe. Otherwise, what crisis are we talking about?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you my Earthling friend:) Already, real humor is always inside the tragedy, isn’t it, even if it seems so much absurd:)

      And there are some points that I forgot the add my post about news. Actually I have to say I haven’t forgot, my time was limited while I was editing, and I put them like that.:)

      For example, Putin and Rutte dialog and Netherland flag issue have been made for making satire about a Turkish fascist group. In november 2015, this Turk fascist group to react of Russia’s airstrike to Syria, made a protest. This group claimed like government said, Russia bombed the villages of Turkmen at Syria. After the protest they attacked with eggs to Netherland embassy, because of they supposed that it was Russian embassy because of flag similarity:)) I am laughing still for their stupidity when I remembered:) And this event was experienced, and it is exactly like Zaytung news, but it’s real:)) After the Russia’s second border violation news, Zaytung made these news that I added.

      The other one, for example the Zaytung news about Peru has been made for criticizing to government’s foreign policy. This government has been saying for last 12 years to the public in every time, “we have good relationships with every country.” But this is not true. Turkey has never been like that. With the establishing Republic of Turkey, it foreign policy was build on Ataturk words “peace at world, peace at home.” And every government more or less followed this policy, even you know under the worse conditions more than todays, Turkey wasn’t involved to 2nd World War. But right now, during last 12 years, Turkey seems that it could go to war with the slightest spark with almost every country at world. And I am really wondering how Peru hid itself from Turkey government’s radar:)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So hilarious! I don’t know which is my favorite. The Dutch flag (don’t shoot…not Russian) 🙂 and then Andorra is only country to show up for Syrian leave conference? I love that picture. He looks so confused 🙂 “What am I doing here?” Tiny Andorra…maybe they can take 5 refugees, or 4 1/2. But perhaps the best is Peru. “We can teach you how to hide”…”for a small fee” 🙂 maybe he hid behind the flags? These are great stories! Thank you!!! –Paul

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you my dear Earthling friend Paul! I think also the best is Peru’s course:) And the other is the system that can detect 4 minutes before insulting to president, it’s such as pre-crime system in Minority Report:))

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I read about the pre-crime concept of Philip K. Dick. With the “four minutes” is hilarious. We have the NSA here recording every phone call, email, text message, etc. that we make. It is sad, but sometimes we must laugh in protest 🙂 –Paul

        Liked by 1 person

      • Philip K. Dick was a smart man, dear Paul. He had seen the interests of mankind:) And as far I know, NSA is peeping to all world, but I am sure, at USA it should be more than the other places. And you’re right as always, we must laugh, laughing is our secret and powerful weapon:)

        Liked by 1 person

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